I’ve never been a great fan of Christina Aguilera. She’s never had enough charisma (in my eyes, anyway) to stand out. Sure, I had heard her radio hits like “Beautiful” and her collaborations like “Lady Marmalade” (who hasn’t?), and the most I actually knew about her was that she had a powerful voice. But as stars like Britney Spears show, talent can only take you so far in the business. I guess it didn’t help that she had a child and settled for a bit, but before “Bionic” came out, her relevance was some to nil as far as I was concerned. And even though she’s obviously influenced by many of her more successful peers for this album, she’s added a twist to her latest studio release that would otherwise be absent released by someone else. In other words, one way she’s a clever mimic and another way, she’s an underrated pop mastermind. Either way, the results of her labor are not perfect by any means.

As if she’s shopping, Christina here tries on so many different styles, from dubstep to hip-hop to ambient to even something resembling experimental (all with a pop layer on top), but returns them again and again. Harsh as it sounds, Christina must have been desperate to stay relevant. “Not Myself Tonight” is not reminding of Lady GaGa but it’s easy to see how people come to that conclusion. “Woohoo” features rap “it” girl Nicki Minaj but doesn’t do that well in terms of execution. “Elastic Love” glimmers ambitiously and is probably the best upbeat number out of the bunch but it still comes across as an M.I.A. rip-off (ignoring the fact the Maya Arulpragasm helped write the song). In fact, the first half of the album is nothing but songs that could have been, or put another way, are too try-hard. They’re enjoyable, but the simple fact that they don’t fit Aguilera at all could be the reason for their downfall. She tries to hush her power pipes through reverb and stutter, but comes across as stumbling and self-indulged. She downplays things with the sensual moans of “Sex For Breakfast” but sounds too much like Janet or Mariah.

Giddyup, horsey.

As a result, Christina doesn’t really shine unless she’s sticking to her tried-and-true formula of hearfelt ballad material. “Lift Me Up” is a true stand-out track simply because it shows what she’s good at, and “You Lost Me“, my favorite ballad from the picks chosen, is a new style but one Christina could utilize in the future, with an epic, movie-like atmosphere and slight jazzy dissonance. “I Am” and especially it’s “Stripped” version are highlights as well.

As she returns to her upbeat nature nearing the end of the album, she finds her niche better. “I Hate Boys” is like an angry reimagining of “Lady Marmalade“. “My Girls (feat. Peaches)” is a club number but Peaches totally steals the show here (did I mention that at her MTV Movie Awards performance, Christina stole Peaches’ light-up vagina? No? Well now you know). “Vanity“, the normal edition closer, is an embarassing but highly entertaining dance-pop track that, while showing just how much of a stuck-up bitch Xtina is, also plays on that stereotyped image of herself in a humorous way that in turn makes it somewhat admirable. “Everytime I look at me, I turn myself on / and now I take myself to be, my lawfully wedded bitch”. Priceless.

For some reason, she had the need to stick better songs than the album tracks on the normal edition on the deluxe edition, such as “Monday Morning“, a retro-chic synth ride that seems influenced by European pop. “Bobblehead“, an annoying but addictive Gwen Stefani-inspired romp, sings about dumb bitches and features some sleek production. “Birds of Prey” reminded me of a Zombie song for some reason, but anyway, is an ambient, dark track that made me, for a second, think I was listening to someone completely different. IAMX-inspired, even. “Little Dreamer“, an iTunes-only bonus track (WHY?) deserves an honorable mention as an amazing, melodic collaboration with Ladytron that needs more love.

Christina’s mixed-bag album deserves one listen-though from anyone. Not great through and through, it has it’s memorable moments, and everyone will find something here to enjoy.

It’s nice that you were brave enough to draw genres out of a hat and throw them onto this, because the cohesiveness of this album is nonexistent. But honestly, go back to “Back to Basics“-type music. Or “Stripped“. Yeah.

★★★☆☆☆